I somewhat recently returned from an AMAZINGLY beautiful and fun-filled family vacation to the Philippines. I was reunited with my father’s side of the family after 30 years. Some of the younger cousins I was meeting for the first time and the rest of the older cousins and aunts/uncles had seen me last as a four-year-old child, but I felt like I’d been in close contact with them the entire time, which was far from the truth. I miss them terribly now and I long for the warm feeling of having a large, absolutely hilarious and loving group of people to call my flesh and blood and who I can spend time with face-to-face. Alas, no American cousins from my mom’s side for me, so you can see how family-starved I’ve been all these years. I’ll just have to make sure I don’t wait another 30 years before I go back next…

I was in the Philippines for a total of 3 weeks, going on 3 mini-vacations and using Manila (boy is it a BIG city!) as home base. My father had last been in his homeland about 4 years ago and my sister had never been before, so it was really exciting to experience this with the two of them. But how does one fill up one’s day while on vacation in the city of Manila? We hit the gym, napped, ate, and spent time with family who lived in the city proper. And we also went to the mall. Many malls. And there were many opportunities to impulse shop!

Malls abound in this city. I mean they are literally all over the place and I was told that a pastime is to just walk through the air-conditioned halls and enjoy the relief from the very hot weather. But in me, I felt a fear growing. I am a self-reformed shop-a-holic. What am I going to do when one of the main activities is to go shopping? And look at this, I can get everything so cheap since the American dollar goes really far here. Gee, what can I stock up on and bring back with me to the states? Nothing! Ugh, I can’t do it! I don’t want to shop. I don’t want to bring anything back in an additional separate suitcase and it’s giving me anxiety just thinking about it. I have no room to keep more stuff, nor do I want to worry about these things!

But then I started to relax. The shopping trips would be a time to socialize and crack jokes with my family and get out and see things. There was no commitment to buy anything, window shopping was just fine and surely the people watching was going to be good. I came to find that I could rationalize my purchases and allow myself to buy a few things here and there given they meet certain criteria. The item needed to be small, different from anything I already had, preferably Filipino in nature, or be so much of a bargain that I couldn’t pass it up.

I came back to the States with just a few items, all of them meaningful and useable. I felt good about my purchases. No need for a whole suitcase, but I did use a beautiful tote bag that I bought there to carry what I couldn’t fit in my bag. I gave away a most of my items to friends as souvenirs, each piece thoughtfully chosen with a certain person in mind. I also made it a point to see my various friends as soon as possible to give them their gifts. It was a great reason to make time to see them again and catch up! Since coming back from my trip I’ve had several shopping forays where I haven’t bought a single thing. I just admire and window shop and take the time to enjoy the company of friends. If there’s something I like (but it’s not something I need) I come back to it later after I’ve had time to think about it. So far I haven’t come back for anything. My significant other even took me to Bloomingdale’s recently and offered up his points card, in its entirety (which had taken a few years to accumulate he proudly mentioned), and I honestly couldn’t think of anything that I needed from the selection there. So on the way out, I noticed the Tom Ford counter and I decided I would use his offering to purchase us a bottle of unisex cologne that we both love and have been sharing since then. An item that is small in size and brings both of us joy. It’s a winner!

After all this, I still realize how profound of an effect that capitalism, advertising and marketing have on our culture and the enormous pressure there is to consume more and more stuff that ultimately does not bring us happiness. Even I, a Professional Organizer and promoter of Minimalism, am speaking as if it requires a certain amount of restraint not to make impulsive and unnecessary purchases. In this world, it certainly does but it gets easier the more you practice. Get to know yourself, love yourself and learn that objects themselves do not necessarily make you happy. You make you happy! It’s up to you to figure out what brings value and meaning to your life.